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  • Writer's pictureParham Parastaran

Five Tools to Eliminate Negativity in Your Life

As a life-time student of psychology, I obsess over why we do the things we do and feel the things we feel. One area I have spent a lot of time thinking about is the power of positivity. I’ve always been turned off by motivational speakers telling us to “just think positive.” Sure, nothing great happens when our attitudes suck and of course we should always try to be positive, but we are human.

One path to eliminating negativity is to learn why it fluctuates in the first place. The fact that our attitude wavers from time to time is a deeper psychological discussion that stems from the regulation of our self-esteem. You can read my book, Perfect Pain, to get a glimpse into the deeper side of our psyche. But today, I want to talk about some tactics to help you get out of a negative cycle. These tools that I have learned and created for myself have worked for me. As soon as I see a negative cycle of thought coming, I begin using my tools. As I’ve gotten better, the faster it works. What used to be a cycle of negativity for weeks is now maybe days and even hours…

We all have periods where nothing seems to go right. The second you find yourself in this position try thinking and using the following tips. These are habits that will take time to develop and become part of your unconscious, but when they do…it works! I promise!

1. Change the channel

When a song comes on that you hate, what do you do? You have the option to change it to a different channel immediately. Same thing applies here. Once you start thinking negatively, change the channel to something else. Keep changing the channel until you find a channel you like or at least hate less.

2. Own it

When you’re in a bad mood because nothing seems to be going in your favor remind yourself that it’s your fault. “You get what you think about,” and you created this feeling. It’s not your boss, co-worker or relationship that is producing tension, it’s YOU! Don’t blame outside influences and look inside. You are in control of you!

3. Be grateful

This is hard when we are challenged but dig deep and find JUST ONE thing to be grateful for. Your children, a friend, food on the table, your health, anything! Just do it and focus on this one thing that you are blessed with.

4. Boost someone else’s mood

When we are in the dumps, it’s very difficult to be positive with others as well. But, this is the exact moment that you should try to find something nice to say to someone to boost their moral. If you’re really in the dumps this won’t be easy, but it’s a powerful tool!

5. Care but not that much

One of my mottos in life and in business is to “care… but not that much” If you look at the earth and picture yourself standing on it, you’ll notice we aren’t that big of a deal. We are just a tiny speck. This will hopefully help you focus on the things that matter, family, health, love, etc. You’ll then find your issues getting smaller and smaller.

These tools won’t change the fact that you still have to work on the deeper underlying issues with your self-esteem. But these tools can reduce the amount of time you spend feeling down. If a cloud is hovering over you for a week, these tools will help eventually reduce the week to days and perhaps even hours!

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